A Family Recipe

 Ingredients:

1. 2 children in a foster home in Tucson, AZ, waiting for a family.

2. A husband and wife, married 6 years, waiting for God to grow their family.

3. God's eternal sovereignty that moves the man and wife to Tucson, AZ.

Directions:

Just add water.

I'm sitting in my freshly-organized living room on my favorite red over-sized chair, enjoying the sun and breeze-blown trees out my windows and the quiet in the house; it's nap time around here. Olivia is asleep in my bed, a special treat. "Peas, Mommy, I seep your own room, nap?" she had asked this morning. She was singing the hymn Rock of Ages to herself a while ago but has quieted down now, so I know she is sleeping. Daniel is in his room and I can hear him chattering away to himself, having a conversation with someone about how he is in the Air Force and has to go to Africa now. "But it's OK, because that's what God wants me to do. And I gotta obey God."

With all the stunningly fast changes and adjustments, I forget to stop and realize what is going on here. God, before He made time, had planned all this. He planned for Mike and me to be unable to have children naturally. He planned for Daniel and Olivia to be born into a family that didn't know Him and just couldn't get their lives together. He planned for them to be placed in a foster home that loves Him and His word and that kept them in their home for over 2 years, praying for a Christian family to come along. He planned to bring Mike and me to Tucson, and to have us all meet up in the same little church.

When we moved here in August, God made it clear pretty quickly which church was for us, and we quickly got involved. We got to know several families, one being the kids' foster family. They had us over for dinner and it was fun getting to know them and meeting their cute foster kids, but no one thought much of what would happen.

One night, about 2 months after moving here, another young couple had us over for dinner. They had been planning on adopting 2 kids from within the church but had just that day decided it wasn't God's plan for them; they had twins a few months ago and were already on to number 3. "You aren't interested in adopting 2 kids, are you? Haha." Jesse had said. Mike and I had driven separately, and on our drives home, we both prayed about it. I decided not to say a thing about it, but to let the Lord do all the work in Mike's heart. And He did. The next morning we woke up, and Mike said, "France, we need to seriously pray about these kids." Crazy! So we did, and we called all of our immediate family to pray with us. Almost immediately we felt we should at least move forward with it, whatever that meant, so we waited and prayed for a week to make sure. By the end of the week we had met with our friends to learn where exactly do we go from here, and had enrolled in the 10-week-long classes that the state requires we take in order to foster or adopt. Because God was just rolling out His plan, the next class started in just a couple of weeks.

And so began all of the paperwork and assignments and To Do lists and home visits and evaluations and prayers. Oh my, how many prayers have been said! We have had SO many people praying with us through this, it has been humbling to know that so many of you love us and prayed so fervently for us, and it has been exciting to see God answer your prayers! Truly amazing, to see Him working through your prayers.

There were lots of nights of confusion and seeking God's will, learning to trust in ways I've not had to before, coming to the point of truly saying "Lord, my life is Yours, do with it what You want! I will follow." Scary, but so wonderful to learn in a new way trust my Jesus.

Early in February a meeting was held at the adoption agency to choose between us and another family. Early in the afternoon, Mike called and asked if I was sitting down. I was driving to the grocery store so I pulled over and he said, "We've been chosen!" What a strange feeling! I quickly changed directions and drove straight to the base so I could give him a quick hug and kiss before he flew that day, then got to work making T-shirts that said "Mom" and "Dad" for later that day when we would skype and tell all of our family.

Our families are too wonderful to really explain...everyone has been so excited and supportive and encouraging and level-headed. We have the best families! It was so fun to tell everyone - Mike's parents, Aba and Abo, who were now becoming the grandparents of not 3 but 5 children; Uncle Travis and Aunt Candy and their 3 kids who were getting 2 brand new cousins; my parents who were becoming Grandma and Grandpa for the very first time; Uncle Jon, Aunt Gaga, Uncle Sam, and Aunt Tess who were all becoming first-time aunts and uncles! It was such a fun night.

The next day began the "transition"...another story. From that night we started praying about the kids to the day they moved in with us as our son and daughter, it was almost exactly 4 months. That's pretty fast. But so obviously God's plan and so easy to ride the wave of His sovereignty and love.

This verse was huge for me through all of the emotions and questions and unknowns:

"The steps of a man are established by the Lord, and He delights in his way. When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds his hand." 

Psalm 37:23-24

Through the last six months, the thing we asked for the most from the Lord was for Him to make it clear to us what His will was so we could do it. He was gracious and answered our prayers, and here we are in His will, with a little girl sweetly asleep in our bed and a little boy in his room imagining he is grown up and just like his Daddy.

First God plans our lives, then He delights in watching His plan unfold. He is good! The God who made the Milky Way is delighting in forming and growing our little family of four. Lord, let this little family live for You!

On Friday I got to watch B for a while and then take him to school. While we were at his house he showed me lots of his toys, his bible memory verses from AWANA, and we ate lunch. He is 5 and super sharp, and we had some great conversations. I wrote them down shortly after because I wanted to remember them!

As we were sitting at the table playing with some magnetic toys, he was telling me about the different people at his school.

"There's this boy as my school, his name is Riley. He's my friend, and we run away from the girls on the playground."

"Well how fun to have a friend you get to play with!"

"Yeah. There's this girl Sarah - she's mean to me."

"Oh, that's too bad. How is she mean to you?"

Making a 3D box out of magnets..."Well, she yells at me a lot, and she yells in my ear."

"Well that's not very nice."

"Yeah."

I thought, Hmm, I know this is a great teaching opportunity! Lord, what do I say?

"Hey buddy, did you know that people were also really mean to Jesus?"

"No."

"Yeah. People yelled at Him, and made fun of Him."

Pulling a magnet snake across the table..."Why did they do that?"

"Because He wanted them all to know that He was God, but they didn't believe Him. Do you know how He responded to them?"

"He tried to annoy them."

"Nope...He LOVED them! And He was KIND to them!"

"Well why did He do that?"

"Because He is God! And He never sins. He is perfect all of the time, and He is always loving to people."

"I don't think I could do that all the time."

Sweet! He totally gets it! He's so smart. "You are so right! I can't either. No person can. Do you remember what Romans 6:23 says?"

"Romans 6:23. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

"Great job! So, 'wages' are things that we earn, and because of our sin, we earn death. Death is separation from God forever."

"How long is forever?"

"It doesn't have an end...when you think it's going to end, it just keeps going and going and never ending, ever. ... Hey buddy, can you say your John 3:16 verse for me?"

"John 3:16. For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life."

"Great! So, why did God send Jesus to us?"

"I don't know."

"Because of our sin! Jesus was born, and was a boy, just like you are, and grew up into a man just like Mr. Padilla, and all His life, He never sinned! Do you know why He never sinned?"

"Because He's God."

"Right! And when He grew up, He was killed. He died for us, in our place!"

"Well why?"

"Because He loves us! Even though we are sinners, He loves us. Remember from John 3:16? It says that because God loved us, He sent us Jesus to die for us so that God could forgive us. And if we believe that He died and can forgive us, then He says He'll give us eternal life - life that lasts forever instead of death that lasts forever.

"Huh."

...So that was that, and I'm so thankful for that conversation! It was kind of choppy and pretty tough coming up with ways to explain things to a 5 year old, but I know God can still use it in his little heart, and I pray that He does!

A while later we were putting on his shoes so he could get to school and he started crying because he wanted to wear a different pair.

"Well what's wrong with these shoes, buddy? I like them!"

"Everyone says they're not good, and that I can't run fast in them."

"Oh. So you want to wear these shoes because you think you can run faster in them."

"Yeah, and everyone says those ones aren't good."

"OK, buddy, well you can just ask me to wear this pair, you don't need to cry, OK?"

"OK."

We tried putting the 'good' ones on, but they were way too small.

"Oh, buddy, these are too small! That's why you can't wear them."

More tears..."But everyone makes fun of those ones!"

Oh, Lord! Another teaching opportunity! Help!

I pulled him onto my lap..."Oh, buddy, I know how you feel! You don't want to wear these shoes because people might make fun of them and say that they're not good shoes, and that you can't run fast on the playground."

Huge tears falling onto my jeans..."Yeah."

Lord, what do I say?

"Well, God says that people look at what is on the outside - your classmates look at you and they see what is on the outside of your body: you shoes, your jeans, your shirt, your hair; but God sees what is inside of you - what is in your heart, what you think, how you treat people. So your classmates see whats on the outside of your body and will say what they want to say about it, but you can be like Jesus and be kind, because God sees what's on your inside, and it matters more what God sees than what people see."

"Ok, I don't want to get a red mark for being late. Can we go now?"

(haha) "Sure, buddy." And we happily put on the 'not good' ones and headed out.

So I don't know if that one affected him either, but I know I got to talk about my God to him and the He'll do what He wants to with it. It was awesome to see God helping me through the conversations, and I'm thankful for the practice!

Since October we've been praying about and pursuing adoption. There are 2 children in our church who we are praying about adopting. Crazy...I'll update in another post sometime. For now I just want to keep up with fun stuff as it happens.

On Saturday we had The 2 over from noon until 7, then put them to bed at their house and sat until midnight. Mike's parents were still in town and the 6 of us had fun taking ornaments off of our tree; Mom Padilla handed the kids a few ornaments and they carried them over to me where I wrapped them up in tissue paper. At one point the Boy was looking at an ornament as he was bringing it to me and he said, "Hey, I made this!" I looked at it, and it was one of a few foam ornaments that had been included in a large holiday care package that our church had put together for it's members who were serving in the military. We had opened the care package a few weeks ago and thought these little child-made ornaments were so cute and thoughtful and we hung them on our tree. So here was the Boy holding this ornament that he had made which had made it's way to us. He was so excited! A few minutes later we found another one that he recognized and he said, "I made this one too!" and was so happy he jumped into my arms for a big hug. :)

The 3 guys took the tree to the lot to drop it off while the 3 girls stayed home and payed. Later we all went for a walk. It was so fun to watch Michael running after B on his bike, and G kept yelling after Michael, "DIA!" (she can't say "Mr. Padilla" or "Mrs. Padilla," so she calls us both "Dia."). Mike would turn around and run toward her and I'd run pushing her in the stroller until we crashed into him, G giggling so hard. So fun!

The kids call their foster parents Mama and Papa. When we were giving the kids a bath later that evening, G was sitting there playing, and quietly sang to herself, "My mama, my papa, my brother, my Dia." Precious.

I was reading Psalm 30 yesterday and when I came to the last two verses, I noticed that I had underlined them sometime in the past. I don't know why they stuck out to me back then, but yesterday they meant something new to me.

"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness, that my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent. Oh Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever."

God has done this in me! 6 years of wanting to be a mom, to make Michael a daddy, hoping and waiting and praying...left to myself I would have been and would be a rumpled pile of self-pity and jealousy. But praise God that He has been SO good to me and has kept me close to Him, always reminding me of His love and sovereignty and that it's not what happens to me in this life that matters but how I respond to it and whether or not I glorify my God through it. His plan is best and that's all I want, whatever it is.

He has given me a husband who is compassionate toward me when I'm emotional, gently corrects my perspective when I'm tempted to despair, and is my best friend, my favorite person.

He has kept me from envying people in my life who are being blessed with their first or fourth child and instead given me the ability to be truly and deeply joyful and excited with them. He Himself is the fulfillment of all my desires and I need nothing else.He has taught me,

"My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken."

He has given me so many people along the way to help and encourage me, so many people who pray for us. He has given me the endurance to keep renewing my mind with His truths and an eternal perspective when I'm tempted with self-pity, and earthly focus.

He has taught me contentment in Him and gratitude on a level I never would have reached had He not blessed us with this trial.

I could write forever...and I believe He has given this to me and lead me through it so that like David in this Psalm said, "my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent."

That's really all I want, for my life to point to Christ. "Consider it all joy, my brethren..." and I do! By His strength in me, by His power alone in me. I see Michael and myself as blessed to be here and be able to view our life and show people all the ways God has worked in us, to point to Him. And it all goes back to the cross; I have His power because He died for me and gave me repentance and forgave me. He made me right with Him and I'm accepted and cared for unconditionally! I want people to look at me and not see me, but Jesus. He is my life!

We're not at the end of the road here...this is just a moment of pause in the middle of a life to stop and reflect. Now looking ahead, I know the faithfulness of my God, and am excited for what He has for us. I will still struggle with wanting a baby and with a multitude of other things in life, but I know the faithfulness of my God!

"Oh Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever."

Ketchup

My, oh my!
Here's what has happened since July...

...Mom Padilla and Em helped us move to Tucson. Such a fun trip! We spent a week in lodging on base together.

...We found a lovely house and are very thankful God put us here. We love it!

...We found an awesome church and have been LOVING spending time with everyone! We've had so many dinner invites and get-togethers, so fun!

...We visited Stephanie and Jeremy in NV; first time in 4 years the 4 of us had been together! So much fun, LOVE those guys! Addie was getting big...

...We said goodbye to our new and wonderful friends Andy and Olga

...I visited NV for Steph's baby shower (she's sooo cute pregnant!)Can't WAIT to meet that little girl!!

...We did a 3-day backpacking trip; amazingly beautiful and so super fun.

...Mom Padilla visited and we all went to a family wedding in Phoenix.

...Mike and I went to the AZ state fair! I showed my devotion and love for him by riding the feris wheel.

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Lake Ouachita

Yesterday we went kayaking on Lake Ouachita! It's in a national forest close by to Hot Springs. We had tried to go last week but turned around due to thunderstorms, so we were pretty antsy to get on the water - well, I was - Mike was just doing it for me, sweet guy.

We got up early and drove 2 hours through the beautiful forest and made it to the marina where we rented our kayaks and let in to the water! After about 10 minutes of paddling around and exploring the huge lake, Mike realized that there was a hole in his kayak! The water in the bottom was growing and I could tell that his boat was lower in the water. So he started paddling like crazy to get back to the marina for a new boat - I almost wet my pants laughing so hard as my funny husband who had never kayaked before and didn't really want to be doing it was paddling to save his life, and with every stroke of the paddle his boat sunk a little more. HILARIOUS. Being the good wife I am, I prayed for his safety and his attitude as I was laughing hysterically.

So he got a new kayak and we set off again; this time everything was wonderful! We had so much fun exploring and paddling around and enjoying such beautiful creation.

After a while we found the tiniest island where we stopped and had a snack and a swim.

Mike was brave and brought his phone on board; thanks for the great pics, Mikey!Taking a break and enjoying the sun and the breeze...
The day was perfect, just the two of us on the water together; Mike ended up loving kayaking so much that we're talking about getting our own and scoping out bodies of water around Tucson!

After we got home and showered, we ended the day with a dinner date at Bonefish Grill. Yum!I love my dear husband so much! And I'm so thankful to God for such a wonderful day with him; we both agree that this was the best day we've had on our Little Rock adventure.

Coffee and the Kindness of my Lord

Today I spent some time at Starbucks, sitting by the window with my bible and journal as rain was pouring down. It reminded me of another rainy day I had spent at a Starbucks...

About 3 years ago, on a rainy day in San Antonio, I had taken my bible and journal to Starbucks. We had moved to TX a couple of months ago and we were loving it; new city, new house, new church...but that day the rain was reminding me of Omaha and the dear people we had just left behind. It made me miss familiarity and the days when I could go to any Starbucks in town and run into a friend.

As I sat there, I journaled and prayed to the Lord, crying a little and asking for His comfort, when all of the sudden I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around, and there were Mary Asher and Martha Zamber, two wonderful ladies from our new church! How wonderful is God's love! I felt so loved by Him, to send these two loving new friends to me exactly in my moment of sadness!

Mary and Martha are in their 60's and have been good friends for a long time. They meet once a week together at that Starbucks to encourage each other in their marriages and ministry and walks with the Lord. I was so happy to see them; the joy of seeing other Christians throughout the day, knowing that these "older" women of the faith still regularly meet to urge each other on, to so keenly see God's kindness and tenderness toward me...God is so kind, and He showed me in a very particular way that rainy day.

Over time, that Starbucks became familiar...it became a place that I would frequently run into people I knew! Hmm...makes me wonder which coffee shop in Tucson will become "our" coffee shop and who we will get to know there....

"How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! And the children of men take refuge in the shadow of Your wings.

They drink their fill of the abundance of Your house, and You give them to drink of the river of Your delights.

For with You is the fountain of life; in Your light we see light."

Psalm 36:7-9