A Rocking Chair

Adopting older kids has meant not only adjusting to a new life personally but also being responsible for the transition of our kids and keeping a very close eye how each of them are adapting. A few months into my life as a mother, I noticed that Olivia had not really bonded with me much. She is so bright and cheery and she liked me, but I hadn't become her safe place yet. I know it will just take time, but in order to help our relationship along I decided to get a rocking chair.

One of my favorite childhood memories is of my mom wrapping me in a blanket and singing to me as she rocked me. I remember looking up into her face and feeling so cozy and safe; it's something I've always looked forward to doing with my own kids. So I found one on craigslist, nice and rickety, and we went and picked it up. It's become part of our routine now; we rock and sing before nap time and bedtime every day. "You rock me before I go night night?"

At first she was very squirmy, as she has been from the beginning; always wired and never wanting to just be still for more than 15 seconds. The more we rocked each day the more quiet and still she became, looking up at me, and the more we have became not just a woman in a chair holding a little girl but a mother and a daughter.

I didn't realize how much God has used our rocking chair in our relationship until a couple of weeks ago. Em was having her baby shower, so Mike sent me packing to Austin for the weekend (amazing man). It was my first time away from the kids for more than 24 hours and Mike's first time along with them for so long. One night I got this in a text from him:

Mike was putting her to bed and on their first rock backward they just kept going - this is the result! There were no injuries, but Olivia lost it and was crying so hard because she thought I wouldn't be able to rock her anymore. Mike said, "Baby, you have no idea how much it means to her the time you two have together rocking in that chair." He couldn't console her for a while, but finally she understood that he would fix it or get a different one. (He also took a picture of her crying and I wish I could post it! SO precious.)

He will tend his flock like a shepherd;
    he will gather the lambs in his arms;
he will carry them in his bosom,
    and gently lead those that are with young.

Isaiah 40:11

I love my Lord! It is so neat to look back and see these little decisions that God gives me, like buying the rocking chair, that He uses in big ways for us. He is gently leading me. He is so kind to me! I read once that, "He is the Father of fatherhood and the source of all motherhood." I look back and see in myself a failure as a mother but success in what God has done, and that's really all I want, for His strength to be seen. I praise God for the blessing to my sweet daughter and me this chair has been!